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  - A few kind words can make a big difference

Over the years, I have wondered why the most professionally accomplished often have no clue about the power of simple appreciation. I have wondered why so many bosses need to yell and rebuke in public to create an impact. I have wondered how often we take our family for granted. And, yet again, I wonder how little we think about the magic of simple appreciation. Organisations are a microcosm of the society we live in. With the ever-increasing pressures of human existence (a paradox of plenty!), we have increasingly become self-obsessed.

However, a few kind words and the right non-verbal cues can win goodwill like nothing else. And that includes money. Such intangibles are more powerful than the more commonly touted greenbacks.

I have known many managers who believe that McGregor's Theory X still rules. Unless shouted at and shown the stick, people do not respond, is what many believe. While I am not attempting a debunking of classical theories, I am convinced that what should be the last resort is often becoming the only method. Maybe it is one's own stress or possibly the pressure to deliver more with less. And, the more we use aggression, the more vulnerable we become. As seniors, we often pass the blame straight to our juniors, often in public.

Nothing can be more demotivating and inimical to good leadership behaviour. In not 'owning' the subordinate's failings, one has shown strong self-preservation instinct but somewhat forfeited the goodwill and support of many others around oneself. In any case, that is an unequal battle. To praise in public and criticise in private is a cliché for not anything. Good relationships keep your flock together, even in the most trying circumstances.

Anything else will only be transitory. And, yet, how we take the support and relationships around us for granted! Similarly, a small enquiry about how employees or those in the family are doing is something we feel shy of doing. Why? I think no one would feel bad if you were to show interest in the person beyond a stated relationship. Let us not hold ourselves back.

Often the other person does not want anything more than empathy that really costs little. A little walk around the work stations of our teams, a warm smile and a pleasant 'good morning' rather than a grunting acknowledgement are simple things many managers never do. Would these build relationships or destroy authority?

Life is more about grey, than black and white. Why not enjoy it? Another very effective tool we all have is the hand. Just that little pat on the pack or touch on the shoulder conveys much more than words do. I have experienced the magic it creates. I, for one, feel it is a very spontaneous action to many which over time we curb due to the influences of our socialisation. Nothing breaks the ice like humour does. Good clean humour conveys instant warmth and camaraderie. Learning to use humour, especially after a rough meeting, can restore a lot of the relationship. Again we hold ourselves back. The big ugly ego of ours keeps us reined in. In a networked environment, emailing compliments can be quite simple.

Having said all this, we must desist from becoming popular. Such political behaviour often makes many megalomaniacs. Relationships must be simple. The end must be honest. To me the trick is easy: Be natural. Do it simply. Good relationships make life at work and outside more bearable, if nothing else. In today's world , where everyone has choices, a leader must accept the simple truth. Relationships stay, everything else is transient. And, we have all heard relationships make a lot of business sense!

Prabir Jha
The author is senior VP and global HR chief, Dr Reddy's Laboratories